I wouldn't call this a life. In fact what I'm doing is distracting myself from the fact mine fell apart. I distract from the pain that burns of how much I still love you. Nothing I do carries importance anymore. Every party, every drink, every thrill a desperate attempt to forget, an attempt to escape. But I have no passion, no feeling, no heart behind what I do, just me trying to cloud my thoughts. I walk the line always on the edge of everything so I can get my next adrenalin rush. Regularly pushing my body to its limit because the physical pain feels preferable. I can only side step life for so long though...eventually I run out of distractions and then it all comes creeping back into my mind and that's when I'm afraid the most.
I still miss you
love ________
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Even when you don't feel like you have anything left, keep going. You have more than enough left. I can tell, as an outsider from all the way over here in California, that someone who thinks like you could never be empty.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how something that once felt so close could now be so out of reach. Hang in there :]
ReplyDeletethe thing is to find a new goal, create an importance to it.
ReplyDeleteit's hard but for sure able to do.
and.
you have to let it into your mind, face it, deal with it. and move on.
i know what i'm saying believe me :)
io seguo il tuo blog se ricambi mi fa piacere
ReplyDeleteciao Michele http://pianetatempolibero.blogspot.com/
Go through that hurt and face the pain head on! You come out on the other side so much stronger. You will amaze even yourself!
ReplyDelete