Im suppose to lead my body as a slave, but instead I am a slave to my body. Every time I give into my desires I feel myself slipping farther into the abyss of despair. I strive to show discipline and self sacrifice but instead my hands are lazy and selfish. I have become like those I hate, hypocrites who speak good things but then prove false through their actions. I deserve whats coming... I want whats coming. Everyday I eagerly wait praying for tidal waves of fire to wash us all away.
(1 Corinthians 9:27) . . .but I pummel my body and lead it as a slave, that, after I have preached to others, I myself should not become disapproved somehow.