Just thought I'd post the link to my new blog since I don't really use this one anymore.

scarsofwords.tumblr.com

Blatant Dreams

These thoughts are hardly a dream and cost more than a life. The notion of being with you seems an impossibility that’s worth the risk, or perhaps the price? With blatant disregard for odds I pursue something I know I will never have, because accepting this would mean the surrendering of my dreams and my passion in living.

Simple Rule

So perfect in every important way. So flawless in unimagined ways. You come to me as a dream of a possible reality to be. I don't know what I have done to deserve this. Why would an angel want to be beside me and touch the face of wrong? And all she asks in return for her love is I follow the rules.

Another Day Without You

I can't spend another day without you. I feel myself breaking at the soul. Forgetting who I am, what I am. I stare at your pictures saying I love you until I fall asleep, wishing to never wake up but I always do. I try to remember why I'm here, why I deserve this for walking away. Or did you leave? I can't even remember anymore. I only know the reality of the pain and anguish I find myself in. Why can't I be with you now? Whats keeping you from my arms? I don't want answers though, I just want things to change so I can live again. So I can take my first breath and stop bleeding instead. How do you manage my love? We belong together, we were made for one another. Never have I ever felt so strong as when we are together. I know you must feel this distance. Does it not pain you to? Please come back to me. Lay your head beside mine and touch my face to see the truth behind my words. Let me heal as I run fingers through your hair and drink from your lips. And when I am drunk off you and my mind slips away in peace then you may kill me and leave. I would rather die at your hands then die slowly away from them.

I love you

Teen Spirit

These times I can’t even put into words. The feeling of being young and alive tonight. To have that burning fire in our hearts. Reckless thoughts racing through our minds. Tasting the best moments of our lives expecting them to never end.

Time And Tides

Shes always patient but counting time, I wondering how much left is mine. Gently singing songs of tides, she wakes me from what clouds my mind. How many days will I let wash away, before I see the pain that stays. I must set foot on solid shore, she need not wait anymore.

Let it all fade away and rest in better days

Repetition Makes Perfect

Repetition repetition!
That's how I've had to learn everything in life. Apparently this is true even with my mistakes. Why can't I learn from past mistakes? Why can't I do what I know is right?... What I "think" I know is right...What I "want" to know is right. Apparently I need to figure out whats really important to me in life, and not just who's important to me....What will my life be about?

Words Are Meant To Be Heard

Write until your lungs burn and your heart collapses. Write until eyes bleed and your fingers cry. Write to give life to words that end lives. Words that pour out emotion to explain your lack there of. Words that only bring emptiness in lonely thought. Words that even still, you would give anything to speak, because words are meant to be heard. Unspoken a word spoils on the tongue. It rots in the mind and twists into something even more nefarious than the lie it started out as. So write your words and I will listen, I will be consumed.

Indecision

Die so I can die or breath so I can breath. Your indecision is the knife in my heart and my love is the poison.

Alive

The sun shines on the good and the bad. It's a beautiful day to be alive. It's a beautiful day to be either.

Sparks

I refuse to write about my thoughts and feelings. Rather than give knowledge into my insight I write to ignite. That my words may burn in the kindle box of your mind that will set the world in flames

Write to kill

Speak Fire

Don’t believe their words. Don’t believe their egotistical propreganda trying to mislead the masses. Change? Whos change? Not your change. Their change, their money, their interests, their ideas infecting your mind to numb you to the fact their taking your life from under you. Espionage of the mind, they steal your dreams and then tell you what to desire. Speak! And let your words rain down like fire. Burning away their lies and exposing you… exposing the truth

Write to kill

Expectation Of Heart

Even though we're far apart I can still feel you smile. With every beat of my heart I'm reminded you possess it. Oh that time would pass swiftly so that I might hold you in my arms and feel whole again. A feeling that seems almost foreign to me now in my broken state. Never again will I allow my heart to be misplaced. Never again will I let you slip from my embrace. Untill then care for my heart and fill it with yours, so that I might continue to feel your smiles as I count the seconds until your return.

Evil Empire

Let your words catch fire and burn down their nefarious establishments of thought and reason. So that it may set the whole world ablaze with freedom. Speak bravely and see them burn to the ground.

Good Cause

Just watch Kony2012

How To Be Alone

How do you cut off a friend who's holding you back? A question i ask myself but seem to carry out on a daily basis. Like snow flakes in a breeze i watch them drift away one by one. The breeze is me though as I ignore texts and calls and slowly isolate myself. I hate this, I hate me, I'm becoming the type of person i despise, im becoming disloyal, the word brings distaste to my mouth and fills me with shame. I wanted to make changes for the better in my life but I didn't realize the price I would have to pay. Breaking bonds with those closest to me because they were holding me back. But here I find myself a faceless coward and deserter. I am leaving those who I care about so much to save myself. If only I weren't weak and pathetic I could shoulder the weight of my friends and make them better with me. Again I fail them though. And as I do the proverbial right thing and cut them off I don't feel better, infact I don't feel anything except alone. So is this the better me? Stripped of my principles, stripped of my self dignity. Does my end justify my means? In trying to become better I fear I have only become worse. Now I stare at this face in the mirror and strain to remember its faintly familiar figure but I don't know who the reflection is...

Restless

Alone and restless at night. It forces you to ponder all the mistakes you've made that day. And then robs you of sleep to ensure you make more tomorrow. It conjures up images of You, but then refuses to allow the dreams to come. I drink these times in gladly though so I appreciate, so I don't foresake the restless nights alone...with You.

A Mess

I'm dangerous, spontaneous, haphazard, crazy, wreckless, a mess... and happy. Because I know you understand this, and love me anyways.

Love
       -Your Downfall-

Lost In The Sky

What if the sky were the gateway to your soul. What if i could look up and see the glint of your eyes in the stars, the glow of your smile in the moon, and your long hair in the milkyway. I could be anywhere in the world and see you. Just look at the sky and see you.

Patience

One day at a time,
One step at a time,
One thought at a time.
It feels as though im a young child or an infirmed elderly. I wish to run but, i can only crawl. I wish to know but, I am left contemplating. I wish to rise but, I must kneel. Each day fighting against my nature. And each day I see my life course being adjusted meticulously by the actions I take. I have goals now, I have a focus now, but they can not be reached quickly or easily. Instead they require me to crawl, so I can fight against the current. They require me to contemplate, so I can act wisely. They require me to kneel, so I can receive guidance. So that one day I can achieve these goals and serve my focus. And I will do it...
One day at a time,
One step at a time,
One thought at a time.

Love Correctly

To love correctly you must believe totally.
To believe totally you must trust completely.
To trust completely you must have  faith.
To have faith you must love correctly.

Your Voice

I wait for you to wake, just to hear your voice again. I would hear you speak before I take my first breath. And hear you speak last before my eyes close. Every word from your lips gives life to my soul and strength to my form. With your command you give me purpose, for absent your voice I am lost. Deprive me no longer your sweet call. See me brought back to purpose with but one word. A word that only you know.

Not What I Want

I dont want exactly what Im looking for. I'm afraid of having exactly what I want. When you have what you want the only thing left to do is lose it. I spend more time worrying about what I do wrong than what I do right. More time praying not to lose what I have. Waiting for the day I make that fatal mistake and everything slips away. Because I don't deserve what I want

Simple Love

Smiles like summer but with eyes of December. You rescue me with a glance and your name brings happiness.

Taken

I hope when you fall asleep I infect your dreams. With every dream, I hope you grow more and more love sick. I hope you imagine me holding you tightly, feel the warmth of my breath against your neck, imagine my fingers running through your hair, the touch of my lips against yours, grasping your hips and taking away your resolve...Then I hope you wake up, distraught, lonely, sick, as though something has been taken from you, just like you've been taken from me.

Do You Live In Reality

Is reality where you are or where your mind is? I often find myself stuck in a tangible world chasing intangible thoughts.