Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Anyone can stand up for something, but only a few can stand alone.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Change of Heart

If making a change in your heart is all that matters... then why do you have to prove it to anyone?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Common Sense

When your in want of heart... don't give any away.

Im Your Everything

I'm trying to be everything. Everything to you, friends, parents, maybe even god. I'm exhausted and i can't do this anymore. Its impossible to be everything you just end up being nothing and I wont. Just to be loved for who I am now not who I could become seems like a dream. I wanted you for everything you are... I wish you would have said the same

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Risk Reward

The only way to know if you truly love someone is to love them... but its also the most dangerous

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Divine Intervention

Your the one god wants me to love... but he doesn't want you to love me.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Take Me Away

Decisions decisions. I'm tired of being the one to choose. Tired of deciding whats right and wrong. Tired of putting everything on the line. If your the one then come get me... make the decision for me.

Monday, November 22, 2010


Lost in finding redemption from the tragic stage of life. In a time when everything seemed to go wrong...

We missed everything that went right.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Chasing Sunrise

I may be waiting for the sun to set but, I will forever be chasing the sunrise.

Friday, November 19, 2010

One Trust

She doesn't trust me, maybe with good reason. Do I trust myself, do I know my own feelings, what if I'm wrong? But what if shes the One... or just the one before the One? She feels like the One. I need to take a risk. I need to win her trust.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Mind Over Matter

In life if you set your mind on something you can accomplish anything... except making someone love you. So set your mind on everything but your heart on nothing.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Blind To The Obvious

The leaves are gone, the trees are bare, the wind is bitter. Where did the time go? Another season missed, another change unnoticed. Maybe that's why people move south, less change, less to miss. Did you see the change?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Say something stupid and people will laugh at you for years.
Write something stupid and people will laugh at you for centuries.
Somethings wrong or rather somethings still wrong. I just don't feel right about anything. I still feel like I don't belong here, maybe somewhere but not here. I'm dead walking among the living it would seem. I thought coming back would make me feel whole again, give me some direction, some hope. The closest I've come to feeling any of that is you though. You give me hope, make me feel real again. Your the one thing in this world that I'm certain about... but because of that you can't love me...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

If waiting is a waste of time, what am I suppose to do with the time spent waiting for you?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Meaning Of Love

Sometimes love is more than words. Sometimes love is making someone believe, making someone trust, making someone whole again. Sometimes love never dies but sometimes it quits, so love means never quitting. And when everything must be surrendered... sometimes love means that.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Please Never Understand

If only I could make you see. Make you understand the confusion in my mind. Know what suspicion of peoples intentions feels like. And then how it feels to question your own. Maybe then you wouldn't have all the answers or see in black and white. But then who would I hold to keep my world together? And who's eyes would fill me with a glimpse of hope? So I pray that you never know those things...


Always too far for right but never far enough for wrong.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Fragile Existence

Can you feel the change blowing?
As the past is swept away.
Can you feel your thoughts shaking?
As the future tumbles down.
When everything is consumed then perhaps you'll see,
This world is really dying... its taking you with me.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


We all have the power to change the world... just not permanently.

Just Like Me

To many people like me...

People worried about things, but never the right things. The too late things, the waste of time things, the never going to happen things. To many people like me... Lost in day dreams. Day dreams to escape the reality of figuring things out. Day dreams to escape the lost and confused feeling. Day dreams just to escape thinking.

To many people like me...Wasting away with to many people like me

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Lies For Sale!

All lies half off!
Big lies, small lies, white lies, every kind of lie!
Today their all the same, and everything must go

Monday, July 19, 2010

When Its Just Right

And then everything happened at once... And there was a change... "And look he saw that it was good"

That's how I feel about you

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Watching People Pass By

Watching people pass by I wonder who they are. Not a name or job title but what they stand for, what they believe in. That's not something you can ask a person though. People lie...and maybe its not intentionally, for we are often not who "we" think we are. Many people say they are one thing, but then do another. "Talk is cheap" but actions never lie. Watching someone is the only way to tell, to know who they really are. The only thing missing from actions however is motive. Looking at an action you sometimes miss the finer nuances of the situation. Motive is sometimes even more important than the action itself. Whats worse, a good deed done for the wrong reason, or a bad deed done for the right reason? Unless you can read hearts though you'll never know a persons true motives. The best we can do is observe people and guess... So I sit here and watch people pass by

Thursday, July 8, 2010


I pass the days with a smile on my face, embracing the future as it takes place. But when left to myself I'm ashamed to find, saying your name makes me cry.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Tonight Is Your Accounting

Somethings coming in the night
Oh yes I can feel it now
Its whispering your lying
But it never makes a sound
You'll hear once its to late
As its grip drags you down
Your fragile world will disappear
And then you'll wonder how
You'll cry to me for help
But I will turn away
My tears wont sway the horseman... its souls he wants today

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mind Games

We are surrounded by slaves. Slaves not in conscious action but in unconscious thought. Every inclination of the heart is bad and this the slave master knows. The masses do his bidding because he makes it seem the norm...
                                      He knows true slavery is of the mind not the hands.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Measure Of Love

Your the one to change it all
                                                      Save my world
                                                                              Be my dream
                                                      Dry my tears
                                                                              Calm my fears
But how will I repay this debt?
                                                      Time you gave
                                                                              Dreams you lost
                                                      Tears withheld
                                                                              Fear for me

Im afraid the scales of love will never be balanced... and for this I am sorry

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Reckless Endangerment

I can't trust myself again,
It's a risk I'm not willing to take,
That if by some chance I change my mind on a whim,
Because I'm unsure,
Because the luster might fade,
Whatever the tireless justification,
To wound another spirit would be selfish,
To risk hurting you would be selfish,
So please understand you can never know me,
So that you may never know this pain as I do.

Im sorry I was never yours

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Weather The Storm

Life is like a storm. It can be unpredictable, violent, and destructive. Those who weather the storm are able to do so because they are prepared. They build their lives on a solid foundation that is not easily washed away. Instead of dreading the unforeseen they can confidently say... bring on the rain

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Whos The Rat?

Were all in this rat race, waiting to die and dying to live. I'll let you win this one...

Love's Power

Gods played no part in this.
Planets didn't align to see it so.
And fate didn't bring us together...Your love did.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


My minds foggy tonight I need to go for a walk. Outside the sky is clear and the air is warm. As I stare off into the vastness of space I cant help but think how easy it would be to walk away from everything. No matter how hard or complicated life gets nothing can ever tie us down. At any moment anyone of us can decide enough is enough and walk away. That's a comforting thought to me...is today the day I leave it all behind?

Let Me Write To You

Baby let me write these words to you.
Making sure every word I write comes true.
In permanent ink I'll write this story on you.
And narrate your dreams to life so you never have to say goodnight.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This Is How

This is how you love a girl... fallow closely
This is how you ask her out, don't sound desperate
This is how you pick her up, on time
This is how you talk to her, talk about her interests
This is how you hold her hand, not too tight
This is how you make her laugh, not to hard
This is how you look at her, into her eyes
This is how you make her smile, into your eyes
This is how you say goodnight, pull her close
This is how you kiss her, not to fast
This is how you court her, remember special dates
This is how you try to be, perfect
This is how you call her, your girlfriend
This is how you treat her, put her first
This is how you'll lose her, put her second
This is when you'll miss her, after
And this how you'll ruin your life...This how you love a girl, This is how you love a girl, This how you love a girl

Sunday, March 28, 2010

See No Evil

She walks so beautifully sure as though each step were destiny. The look in her eyes say otherwise. Trying to make you believe ending this is right. Trying to make herself believe ending it is right. Finding reasons in the chaos of why this wasn't meant to be. When there's a thousand voices screaming that it is. Its easier for her to walk away leaving you in pieces. But in the egotism of self pity its easy to miss something. For a breath of an instant there's pain in her eyes, because shes bleeding to.

I'm glad I didn't miss the look

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Sea Of My Love

Oh darling please don't cast me off tonight. I long to sail on the plush cascade of ecstasy dripping from your lips. Just one taste and your every desire I will stretch to its limit. Relax as my love crashes over you, running down every curve, finding every bend, massaging every tension. Then with tempest waves erode your resolve washing you away. Forever lost in a sea of my love.

Your love still moves me

Friday, March 19, 2010

No Regrets

If I knew I was going to die today there are a lot of things I would regret... but loving you wouldn't be one of them

Never forget please

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Make It Worth It

Your next step may be the one that kills you... so might as well make it a jump

Love with no regret

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Stranger to Myself

Every time I hear you say how perfect he is, all I hear is how imperfect I am. Everything with you is what I didn't do or never did. I fall asleep feeling miserable and worthless hoping that I can dream away these thoughts. Still I wake with a sinking feeling in my chest. I get through my days on sheer power of will, but often find myself exhausted and confused by the end. I'm living in a world I feel no part of, in a world where nothing feels right. I think I'm bleeding out on the inside, every second a drop closer to peace. I know where this is all heading, so maybe I should be brave and embrace the peace.

 "O God, do not keep far away from me. O my God, do hurry to my assistance" (Ps 71:12)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Lets Play a Game

If love is a game then you cheated. You broke the rules when you broke my heart, now how will I ever play again? I guess win though...

The broken part still loves you

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Enemies Closer

Someone I trusted hurt me today. They waited till I was weak, till I was looking for comfort, looking for help. Then they twisted the sword that was already in my heart. Now I see that all along I have been surrounded not by friends but enemies. And as they close in upon me I'll think of you. The one who betrayed me with a kiss.

Still closing my eyes for you...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Silent Witness

I promise not to talk because ive got nothing left to say,
But this screaming hole in my heart is giving you away

Gratutude For Love

This morning I felt sick like the day you left. I rolled around in bed trying to hide from this feeling. Finally I prayed and something came to me. A lot of people never get to feel this. They never find someone they feel this strongly about. And I think that's something I should be grateful for. Experiencing a day in your love was far great than a life time without.

My gratitude & my love

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Make Your Way to the Sea

She made her way down to the sea
So she could hide her tears
So she could drown her fears
She made her way down to the sea
And Baby have no fears
Baby Im not near
Make your way down to the sea

Friday, March 5, 2010

Love Withheld

Why dont I write you everyday? Its not because I dont think about you because I do with every breath. I write poems you might never see and worse might never know are for you. I tell myself its better this way so I dont cause you pain, so I dont complicate your life. So I gladly suffer to see you happy... holding back my love because I love you

Dream of me please

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Distraction For Your Life

I wouldn't call this a life. In fact what I'm doing is distracting myself from the fact mine fell apart. I distract from the pain that burns of how much I still love you. Nothing I do carries importance anymore. Every party, every drink, every thrill a desperate attempt to forget, an attempt to escape. But I have no passion, no feeling, no heart behind what I do, just me trying to cloud my thoughts. I walk the line always on the edge of everything so I can get my next adrenalin rush. Regularly pushing my body to its limit because the physical pain feels preferable. I can only side step life for so long though...eventually I run out of distractions and then it all comes creeping back into my mind and that's when I'm afraid the most.

I still miss you
                       love ________

Friday, February 26, 2010

Tragedy Of A Dream

You only come to me in my dreams. Each time more beautiful then the last. I dream of holding you tightly and sleeping in your arms again. For a moment all is right and my world restored to balance. But then I'm ripped away. Consciousness tears me from your arms, oh how I long to stay even just a moment longer. The tragic agony of reality sets in and topples my world around me. But I labor through my day knowing that soon my eyes will close once again and we will be together... and maybe this time it will be forever

I love you

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Bleak Future

I'm scared of being alone but there's some strange allure about it. As if deep down I know its going to happen. As if deep down I know its what I really want

I Am A Slave

Im suppose to lead my body as a slave, but instead I am a slave to my body. Every time I give into my desires I feel myself slipping farther into the abyss of despair. I strive to show discipline and self sacrifice but instead my hands are lazy and selfish. I have become like those I hate, hypocrites who speak good things but then prove false through their actions. I deserve whats coming... I want whats coming. Everyday I eagerly wait praying for tidal waves of fire to wash us all away.

(1 Corinthians 9:27) . . .but I pummel my body and lead it as a slave, that, after I have preached to others, I myself should not become disapproved somehow.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


A bleeding heart is the worst kind of wound, because it never bleeds out.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Chaos Theory

There's a chaos theory in my mind. A mind that's ablaze with confusion of meaningless thoughts. Words, feelings, desires are all disregarded here. With each day my heart grows unresponsive, numb to the inconsistencies of emotion in my head because hearts do not adapt. When pushed they stop working to preserve you alive until there is nothing left to save. So here I am lost in obscurity waiting to die I suppose. And the only thing I know is this... Nothing heard is true, except everything said is a lie.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

My Strength

I see how strong you have become and see how much stronger you make me. My strength my power all comes from you and your love is its source. I need you more than anything, I love you more than anything

Friday, February 19, 2010

Cruel Games

You set my soul on fire... and then stood there to watch me burn

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I Bet You

I bet you I know what love is, I just know love lost better.
I bet you I know you, but I like forgetting better

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Last Heart Standing

I run away and slam my door. I hide my thoughts and stone my soul. Now there's nothing left to take that's real. Just my heart and its last appeal

Sunday, February 14, 2010


Being without love is like holding your breath... Go too long and it will cause damage

Any Other Day

Today is no different than any other day for me. And maybe thats the problem

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hearts Eclipse

Even lost in time and space. I cant seem to forget your face. I hate the sun and loath the stars because they remind me where you are. But if for a moment your heart does eclipse I promise I'll once again taste your lips.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bleed Like I Do

If you want to feel loved and understood then break your heart. Because all broken hearts feel the same

Love Letter

Im writing you a love letter... but this one you better hide

Friday, February 5, 2010

There is nothing more sobering than being alone and knowing why.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Locked Away

Locked away forever burning, something inside me forever turning. Never to surface or call to mind a name that I once called mine

Her Eyes Speak Truth

I miss your stare right before we used to kiss. Your blue eyes that consumed my soul as Id fall into you. And the warmness of your chest as id sink into you. Love beamed so intensely I can still feel it now. How did I not see the trueness of love in your eyes then? Now I spend my days searching for a stare like yours but, it eludes me. If your reading this I’m sorry I was so blind to the obvious... Your love still consumes my mind and I deserve to spend the rest of my life alone searching

I love you the way I should have

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Her Name

I'm trying my best to run away from you. But everywhere I go and with everyone I meet I find myself talking about you with friends and strangers I barely know. Not a day has gone by that your name hasnt left my lips. I used to know you so well but now I wonder if I ever knew you at all. A shell of what I once was is all that remains, because you were what I once was. I'm longing for the day I forget your name... for the day I fall asleep forever

Perfect Match

I love you. Not because your my perfect match (wheres the love in that?)but rather because your the only person who's flaws I can overlook.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wash it All Away

Sometimes I wish he would just wash everything away. Make it rain down fire and hail stones on me and this twisted world. But then I see your ray of light in the distance and it keeps me from going under.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Beauty Of Your Heart

How is it possible for something to be lost, to be broken, to be torn, to feel unimaginable pain... and yet still function? Your heart is truely a beautiful creation, treasure it.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Setting Sun

Since you've gone away I often gaze to the west. I wish I could ride the Sun so it would take me to where you are. Until then as the Sun sets I smile, because I know it sets with you.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

She Is My God

With each passing day thoughts and memories grow dim as my mind fails me. I cling to the memory of your proverbial love like a sinner lost in his old ways. Your love is my savior and my redeemer but, you let this world crucify it. Without your love I lie here lost without faith... without God. Because your love has become everything to me, and I have sacrificed everything to it.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Refusing To Live Without

You tell me life is unfair. You tell me life is cruel. You tell me life is learning to live without the things you want. You tell me life is learning to live without you. Your idea of life is not for me. "I" refuse to live without the things I love.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

He Sees The Best In Us

Everyday this world seems to get worse and worse. Love for fellow man is waning and less and less people believe in God. Yet for some reason he still believes in us? But I guess thats what a good father does. I guess thats what REAL love is... believing that everyone can change

 1 John 4:7 "Beloved ones, let us continue loving one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born from God and gains the knowledge of God"

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Dying To Try

You have to keep dreaming, you have to keep striving, you have to keep trying for new things, because being stagnant is death